Singing “Good will to men” isn’t enough

One December, when my older son was about four years old, he accompanied me to pick up my new pair of glasses. The optometrist asked him, “Is Santa Claus coming to your house?” “No,” Joel answered, “we don’t decorate.” We’re Jewish, but in his four-year-old mind, not decorating was the reason why we didn’t celebrate Christmas.

Joel and Sean did not miss out entirely; most years, we were invited by friends to help decorate their Christmas trees – sort of Christmas Jews, similar to Sabbath Gentiles who performed necessary household tasks for observant Jews who are forbidden to do anything like work on the Sabbath. We took tree trimming very seriously. As our sons grew, the ornaments they hung got higher and higher, so the trees became less bottom-heavy.

We also made a tradition of going to downtown Philadelphia on the Frankford El, or to Tysons Corner Mall after we moved to northern Virginia, on Black Friday to do our Hanukah shopping. And on Christmas Eve, we’d get in the car and drive around the neighborhood to see the houses all decorated with Christmas lights, maintaining a tradition my second-oldest sister began when I was a boy. When our sons were in junior high and senior high, we attended the annual “holiday” programs, which always included one or two obligatory Hanukah songs – although in truth, there just aren’t many Hanukah songs.

Joel and Sean took turns lighting the candles on the menorah each of the eight nights of Hanukah before we said the prayer. I must admit my wife and I were a little nervous every time their little hands held one candle (the master) to light the other candles, from one the first night to all eight the last night.

Now we have four grandchildren. Both of our sons married women who are not Jewish. And so, when the grandchildren were very young, we’d have a Christmas tree in our house; the soft glow of the lights on the tree gave added warmth on cold winter evenings. Of course, like lots of

grandparents, we won’t be together with family this year; we’ll have to make do with a Zoom meeting.

I have always enjoyed the Christmas season. Of course, when I was a child, the season didn’t begin until Thanksgiving. My mother and I did most of our shopping in the downtown department stores; we actually dressed up for the occasion. At that time, department stores sold just about everything, including toys. There were no branch stores, no enclosed malls, no big box stores, just department stores and locally-owned neighborhood shops. But I liked being in the crowds, picking out presents, and schlepping them home, where I was responsible for wrapping them.

I especially like hearing the many different Christmas carols, although I’m perplexed by the one that includes the words, “A child, a child, shivers in the night, let us bring him silver and gold.” The child’s freezing, what would he do with silver and gold? Bring him blankets! I also had to chuckle when one year I heard Garrison Keiler say on the radio, “Tonight is the beginning of Hanukah, the Feast of Lights.” I called the station immediately; “We light the candles, we don’t eat them, it’s the Festival of Lights.”

I’m not offended when people wish me a Merry Christmas; I usually respond with, “And a Happy Hanukah to you.” It is, after all, the season.

But I am saddened by the dissonance between the seasonal sentiment of “peace on earth, good will to men,” and the anger and ill will of the others days of the year. As writer, artist, and social activist Robert Alan Silverstein wrote, “Is peace on earth an impossible dream? Before you answer, think about what it would be like if everyone really had a chance to have a good life. What if we lived in a world where the rules really were fair for everyone? What if the system was set up so that working for a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world was the common goal that all families, communities, businesses, and nations shared? What if we taught our children the skills they needed to get along better with others and make the world a better place, instead of just how to ‘get ahead’? If it were easier to choose to do the right thing, wouldn’t people be more likely to do it? Maybe peace on earth is an impossible dream, but if we changed the rules, this world could be so much better. So, why do we allow an unfair system to rule us by fear? Why don’t we work together to create a better world and bring hope! The biggest obstacle for creating a culture of peace is that most people won’t let themselves even think about peace on earth.”

Let’s stop just singing “peace on earth, good will to men;” let’s start thinking and making it happen. Season’s Greetings to you all.

Mark Berg is a community activist and a proud grandfather. His email address is MaBerg175@Comcast.net.